dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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