i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
