I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
