i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
