For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Randomize
