I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
