Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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