My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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