Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
