Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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