i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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