I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
