a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
