Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
