Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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