Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
