You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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