u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
