I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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