remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize