i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
