I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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