Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
