dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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