Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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