If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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