we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I don't think brook has ever known best
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
