Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize