just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
