The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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