bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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