this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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