its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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