He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
