I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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