the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
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