well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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