in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
