listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
