Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
