Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
