Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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