dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
