so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Sext me about skeletons
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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