Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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