I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize