My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
