cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
