do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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