Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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