it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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