i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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