Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Randomize
