I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
