did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
