You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
