Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
