Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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