using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize