Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
