Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i've created a new STD.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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