speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize