did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
