remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
