So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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