You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
