Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
