so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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