i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
