i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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