I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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