The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
