just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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