We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
