i permit you to call me
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
