i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
