i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
