This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
We left the knife in your bed.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
