OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
