I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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