Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
