my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize