A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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