Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
