You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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