he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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