Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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