MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize