one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
