How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize